Fate and Other F Words

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I fell asleep in my clothes yesterday. Or, this morning. And I woke up, and had an extra hour. It’s AMAZING, the things that we become used to doing, that are absolutely strange.

It was a very social weekend. At least, for a non-social thing like I am. I won’t itemize too heavily, but maybe this list will clue in:

What Giang Ate On Saturday (in chronological order):
Bowl of Honey Bunches Of Oats: 1
Sumptuous Candies: ~ 15
Baby Carrots: 3 or 4
Screwdrivers: 2
Shot of Vodka: 1
Shot of Whisky (or Scotch, or possibly turpentine): 1
Shot of Rum: 1/2

It was a great party. I had a ton of fun, and only did really one thing I probably should not have done (but that was fun too…)

Sunday was Disneyland – with the old guildmates, and the current guildmates. Met lots of new-ish people, and it was…good, but tiring. I have a ‘morning after’ feeling today, and will attempt to go to work and hide myself from the world for as long as I can. It feels like ages since I’ve been there. Some people live like this every weekend. That’s amazing.

So – something that has been bouncing around in my head – is there such a thing as fate? When parsons ride down country rodes and spout useless facts to the people they meet, a young girl gets sent to the gallows for murder. Oh, stuff happens in between too. But the reckless simplicity of its start makes me think. Do we blame the parson, or is there some point at which she could have thrown up her hands and said, “Fuck this. You’re all crazy!”

Well, of course, we are not all Hardy heroines. And novels are fatalistic by nature. But really – is there any order in life? I really don’t know. I consider this because sometimes – oh, recently! – I am prompted to wonder about my own judgement. People with unwavering resolve need not comment – I am tired enough of people thinking they know what I should be doing and what is good for me. I know I’m not perfect, but I also know I’m not crazy. I’m not unreasonable, though sometimes I am weak. I’m not cruel. I’m not petty. My delivery is not perfect, but what I’m saying is sound. I have these things to my credit, like little white plumes. Therefore, I am solid.

It’s a mad world. Acutely aware of how important it is to have people for the giving and receiving of care, I love you all.

Happy Candy Begging. :)