The Darndest Things

I declined anesthesia today. Yeah: rawr! Mostly because the thought of getting stuck with a needle and drooling for hours after leaving the dentist was more unsavory than mild nerve pain. But I’m done! I’m done! I’m done! I have a slight lisp that I’m hoping will go away once I get accustomed to the new shapes in my mouth.

(Lisp, lisp, goes the little dork-girl. Lisp, lisp.)

The things that went through my mind while I was in the chair:

• It would suck if I got into a car accident after I left the dentist, and my teeth broke.
• My dentist is Egyptian and has very pretty eyes. They are green with gold flecks.
• I like the way he enunciates his assistant’s name. “Cataleena”, he says. “Cataleena.”
• There is a tightening in my left shoulder that has been getting worse and worse all day. It is a stress pain. Made worse by real pain.
• I wonder how I’m going to die? I wonder, will it hurt? Will it hurt as much as mild nerve pain, or more?
• What the hell is that noise?
• Oh. “Carol of the Bells”.
• What a creepy sounding Christmas carol.
• I want to go home. I’m hungry. I want to go home.
• I wonder if I will still like the boy after tomorrow.
• What do I want out of life?

And then, it was all over, and all the thoughts flitted merrily out of my head, and what was left is the carefree shell of a girl in front of you. Or, in front of you, by proxy. I like that word: proxy. You know – for kids!

I am going to go, and nestle into my silly bed and get some silly sleep. Much love to you all.