Curt and I have a contest to see who can sing the national anthem better. We go to the pet store, where Curt is left alone too long, wanders off, tastes a dog cookie and then announces, “THEY’RE JUST COOKIES!” He insists they are people cookies labeled as dog cookies to trick people.
“Now granted,” he says, “I didn’t eat the cookie part, so I don’t know what the cookie part tastes like. But there was nothing in the ingredients that indicated dog food, period! The ingredients were identical to the ingredients of a cookie!”
“You said you could literally buy those and eat those with your dog.”
“That’s right!”
And then we went to Target, where we looked at pinatas and Curt says, “Hey, there’s no candy in these pinatas!”
“You have to put candy in them!”
After turning the pinata this way and that and finding no ingress, Curt gestures accusingly at the pinata and says, “Where’s the candy go?”
“In the CANDY HOLE!”
“There’s no hole in this pinata.”
At which point Curt literally tears that poor little purple pony a new one.
(Curt the ombudsman would like me to say that he did not really tear it. He just…”opened” it.)
(Curt the ombudsman would also like to add that he checked the ingredients for the Golden Oreos while we were at the Target and confirmed that the ingredients of the Golden Oreos were the same as those found in the dog cookie. “In the same order, indicating they were present in ROUGHLY the same amount.”)
Except one was labeled a dog cookie, and the other was an Oreo.
Goodnight. :)
