I’ve just figured out what’s wrong with this low-sodium canned soup: there is not enough salt in it.
A couple of nights ago, I dreamt that I got an email from Dell telling me BumbleCurt had been shipped, and woke up elated!…only to realize that it was a sad little lie I had told myself while I’d been asleep, much like how I used to dream about having Barbie dolls when I was a little girl because we were too poor to afford them.
I checked the status page (as I normally do every morning, and every hour thereafter, with five or seven times in between like an unstoppable hurricane of WANT) and this morning, at long last, the order status said SHIPPED. I pounced on the sleeping Curt and punched him a couple of times to show him the extent of my joy! It is tantamount to how, after years of dreaming of Barbies, my mother finally squirelled away enough money to buy me an imitation Barbie – with clothes and shoes and HANGERS FOR HER CLOTHES and EVERYTHING! – and how much I loved it with all of my grasping, wanting little heart.
Of course, the two events diverge there. There came a day that the little-girl me decided to give dolly a bath by pulling her limbs off and leaving her dismembered body pieces floating in the bathroom sink because I felt she needed to be clean inside and out. My mom got kind of angry and weirded out by that. Luckily, she has nothing to do with the purchase of the Dell. It’s all mine to love and bathe as I see fit! HA!
ANYWAY: now I have but to obsess over the progress of the shipping. As I type, BumbleCurt is currently in Clinton Field, OH and has been there for 2 hours and 3 minutes. /obsess obsess
I haven’t touched Goblet of Fire for a few days. School, and work. Also, because, as you may be aware, PMS hits me violently at times and after the last movie I actually – this is completely true, may god rest my merry gentlemen – burst into tears sobbing because I wanted to be Harry Potter riding the hippogriff and realized that it wasn’t ever going to happen, NOT EVER. You should’ve seen the wild-eyed look Curt tried not to give me while he was consoling me. I think this actually beats out the time I burst into tears watching that bank commercial a few months ago.
Gee, I feel a little nuts now that that’s down in type. I cannot give you any of the time back for spending the last few minutes reading my crazy ramblings; however, if you would like to lodge a formal complaint, just knock on the wall to the left side of your head and a friendly customer service representative will be right with you to take down your specific gripe.
Unless, of course, you’re a muggle. Then you get nothing.