Here there be…
Yes, there is now a house in my life. We’ve had it for almost a month, and the unpacking is still not done. We’re slowly shining her up, but it’ll take awhile. It’s very nice. Also, very tiring. :) Pictures and stuff soon.
Frog prince
For everything good that happens, something bad will happen; our purchase offer was accepted, thus – what? What terrible thing lurks in the future? My insides are properly knotted – even more than when I got married. It’s the slow pace of it – how I sit here blogging when I could be underwriting my own loan, appraising my own property, closing my own purchase. But I can’t do any of these things. They are all out of my hands. This is best, most excruciating nightmare I’ve ever had: I am about to buy a really, really big toy, and I DON’T GET TO BE IN CONTROL.
It’ll all be fine, I’m fine.
Curt’s watching XXX. This movie is completely ridiculous. We’re almost through all two hours of it, and I’ll bet Vin Diesel’s going to parachute out of at LEAST two more planes. It could be a drinking game.
The weekend rotation
Filing receipts and updating Quicken while watching Zombieland. This will most likely become another one of my weekend favorites. It joins the following list of movies I watch regularly while tidying up ’round the Ponderosa:
- Dawn of the Dead
- Silent Hill
- Double Indemnity
- The Postman Always Rings Twice
- Psycho
- Little Miss Sunshine
Nothing like a little survival horror / dysfunction to start a great weekend. :)
All is well
It is good to remember how lucky Curt and I really are, all things considered. Everything is fine. I have the luxury of whining because nothing is really wrong. So, I’m thankful.
Finished the first “book” of the Illiad. What’s Greek for “jackass”? :P
manic time hemorrage
It’s increasingly improbable that we’ll have closed on a house before Mad Men starts up again, so I’ve resorted to obsessively checking the AMC website. I Mad-Menned myself into a scene; I call it I Raise You A Donut:
House hunting is exciting, but it’s driving me crazy. I check listings obsessively, and at night I alternate between anxious dreams about work, and equally frantic dreams about not being able to find a house. Alas I am not one of those cool-as-a-cucumber types; I am undone by stress.
But now I’ve got Rick Astley (the I-Still-Can’t-Believe-He’s-Not-Black guy) singing to me over YouTube. GOD, weren’t the ’80s the BEST!!?!!
Hehe. ;)
Rahzzburries
For the last three and a half hours, Curt has been attempting to beat my score on the third level of Defense Grid: The Awakening, and he has been unable to do it.
BAHAHAH!
And WTH, Kurt. You have a blog! ;)
Voting
Why do they not just preface each side’s argument for and against with “Useless lies that won’t help you at all”? :P
Post-stymy
Busy at work, vacation unpacked. Perfect time to redo the blog I barely use.
Very sad to hear about the passing of Friend Dodds’ cat, Lord Underfoot. He was a bit cranky as cats usually are – but a good cat, nonetheless. Farewell, little fellow.
Recently broke free from the Reading List and devoured
The pictures here are strange now. They won’t be strange later. Toodle-oo.
Attachment
Life, what is it but a dream?
The Heart of Gold
“Five to one against and falling…” she said, “four to one against and falling…three to one…two…one…probability factor of one to one…we have normality, I repeat we have normality.” She turned her microphone off – then turned it back on, with a slight smile and continued: “Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem.”
As Curt pours the last drop of sparkling wine into my booze, I see my life as an alcoholic flash before me. The blind rages, the black-outs, the brilliance born of blistering despair. The eventual vituperative autobiography on wasted youth, which will reach the best seller list on the day that I die. And I will die a glorious death, singing ‘Cheese, glorious cheese!’ as I am wont to do when suffering from extreme exhaustion. With what? With life. With others. With my own self.
I am fond of this idea, though it is unlikely. I lack the will to vomit; I fear vomiting. Alas, another life goal which will go unmet.
We were literally one, tire-screeching, brake-smoking inch away from a car accident tonight. Some asshole kid (in my head it was a kid or a woman, though it was too dark to tell which) decided not to adhere to the ‘stop at a red light’ suggestion and nearly rammed into us going full speed down the road. I yelled some obscenities out the window, and we left. Obscenities: supremely ineffective in solving problems, yet so satisfying.
This event, though interesting, is not the cause of my dark mood. It is merely evidence. Evidence, if you will, of a long string of iniquities perpetrated on the world by assholes. Assholes with names that I see every day, assholes with other names that sit somewhere else in the world, fucking it the hell up. Assholes that drive cars. Assholes that live down the street. Assholes that let their kids scream incessantly rather than parent them. Assholes, assholes, everywhere. And I will admit that I have been worn down. I am done. I don’t care anymore what anyone’s excuse is. I don’t care if I’m wrong. I just want the assholes to leave me the hell alone. To just go away, and take the crusty pollution of their existences with them.
And yet, once upon a time a man stopped by the side of the road to help me change my tire and gave me a bag of avocados, just because he wanted to be nice. And today, a woman went out of her way to open the gate for me to let me in to the apartment complex, just because she wanted to be nice.
My anger cannot remain. I relent, mentally murmuring that it was a bad day, and go to bed.